Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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