i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
