Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
