have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
our cab driver is having phone sex.
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He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
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Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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