just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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