PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
