then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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