It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
