Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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