Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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