vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
