Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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