im about as happy as oj after his trial
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My bed smells like the plague
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize