When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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