Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The Olympian is in my bed
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