can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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