Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
