Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
