The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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