I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
