Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

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  (313): I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan. http://tfl.nu/kp2g
  Replies (31) Good night (697) Bad night (2555) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.

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  (847): Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over. http://tfl.nu/gmxm
  Replies (35) Good night (1290) Bad night (2693) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms

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  (412): as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms http://tfl.nu/8b7n
  Replies (24) Good night (3051) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you

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  (617): a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you</3 http://tfl.nu/z6s1
  Replies (32) Good night (1189) Bad night (8329) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.

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  (910): Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically. http://tfl.nu/2hl3
  Replies (33) Good night (3986) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.

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  (707): At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon. http://tfl.nu/h8sp
  Replies (3) Good night (1102) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.

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  (306): Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess. http://tfl.nu/uhd6
  Replies (5) Good night (1040) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.

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  (701): I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/5jp7
  Replies (2) Good night (1162) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.

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  (904): The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party. http://tfl.nu/d07s
  Replies (12) Good night (1223) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.

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  (408): I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident. http://tfl.nu/gd86
  Replies (6) Good night (1925) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.

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  (404): You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car. http://tfl.nu/j1re
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.

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  (804): If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks. http://tfl.nu/t0d1
  Replies (25) Good night (600) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Bouncers are people too...giant angry people

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  (507): You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night (815): Bouncers are people too...giant angry people http://tfl.nu/aryb
  Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (260)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet

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  (727): And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet http://tfl.nu/ztj3
  Replies (4) Good night (276) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?

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  (832): So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid? http://tfl.nu/r78n
  Replies (3) Good night (333) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt

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