so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"