were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.