The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize