Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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