Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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