I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
