So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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