well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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