I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize