I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
