Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
