I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Cover your peen. We're going out.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
