bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
