this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
