i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
