im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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