Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
