So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize