Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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