There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
