after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
