i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
whose parrot is this?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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