There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just googled if crying burns calories
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
