You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
