the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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