i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
