first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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