I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
