Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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