just tell him i said nine months
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
