Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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