is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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