Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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