Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
